Welcome to the World of Mayonnaise 2002 - The Best Reason to Own a Mouth

I feel cheated by the year 2002 already. You see, with all those nice even numbers, it sounds so much like it really should be a leap year. There are enough great sporting events, such as the Winter Olympics, the Football World Cup and the Commonwealth Games, to make it feel like a leap year. And yet there it is, sad lonely February, all cut off in its prime and limping forlornly into the past like a dismembered frog in some fancy continental restaurant. Its the IOC's fault really for moving the Winter Olympics so that they no longer coincide with the Summer Games, and seem somehow less important and a bit silly by comparison. And quite rightly, for the Winter Games do consist mainly of events that involve falling down a mountain in a variety of amusing ways, meaning that only nations with snow and bloody great big mountains are ever going to seriously challenge for medals. So anyway, and to return briefly to my point, if the IOC can shift the Olympics so that they are now held every two years, then why not break up the leap years and hold them every two years as well. That way we could all have an extra half day every two years with which to enjoy our mayonnaise sandwiches (there see there was a point to all this random mumbling and rambling). A half day would be so much better than a full day as well, as there probably wouldn't be enough time to have to get out of bed and go to work, and of course twelve noon would have to be followed immediately by twelve midnight meaning that everyone would have to hurry home pretty sharpish to get to bed just after they woke up. A world of beauty and grace beckons my friends, so join with me and make 2002 the year of February the 28th and a half!

Would buy you a pint with their
very last £5 note
Would sell you their grandmother for the price of a bottle of meths


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