We all love mayonnaise don't we? Of course we do, and that's why you, you discerning erudite individual, have the singularly amazing opportunity to sign the Mayonnaise World Guestbook. If you're the nervous type take the chance to view the Guestbook first, in case you are worried that you may be alone in your peculiar and shameful feelings towards condiments.
Thank you to everyone who entered the recent World of Mayonnaise competition to win the special jar of Lyra mayonnaise from Safeway's in Hammersmith. Its very rare that so utterly pointless a prize attracts quite so much interest, especially if the competition in question is left unaltered and uncared for on some crusty forgotten web page for years at a time. Sub Lieutenant Kimball Ajax O'Hara BA, RN will be the proud recipient of the aforementioned sauce, plus of course the luxurious cardboard box lovingly crafted by Bengali immigrants in an East End sweat shop, once his ship returns to port after six months of manoeuvres around the Isle of Wight looking for Spaniards to blast out of the water. We wish him well in his endeavours, hope he enjoys his prize and pray that all of his recently contracted strains of exotic clap and pox clear up. Good luck with the Spaniards and the penicillin Lt O'Hara!
The World of Mayonnaise is nearly always contactable by e-mail at email@example.com, and by and large I look forward to hearing from the less dangerous of you. I do of course reserve the right to stalk or ignore any correspondent at my discretion, and to delete any enquiry on a sudden whim. I also reserve the right to forward directly on your e-mail to the Freemasons, the FBI, the KGB, the Kennel Club, the Branch Davidian Sect (Winnersh Branch) or the International Global Zionist Conspiracy Alliance (Winnersh Branch).
I'm a great lover of my mobile phone so I've put together some information that will be useful to you together with some links to the best sites I've found, here they are;