Links - with quite a distinctive tang
Being of a largely strange and disparate nature...

Works of Art and Sophistication - Top condiment artist valerieusa works solely in the medium of Kraft mayonnaise and writes to me from across the Atlantic. Visit her pictures and make her duly the most famous artist in contemporary society
Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise Club - Our accursed mortal enemies, whom we have solemnly avowed to crush like so many squalid salad cream smeared cockroaches. These people do not like mayonnaise and are therefore a long way beneath contempt. Their web site though, is a festering pile of bat guano which was last updated around the time that dinosaurs roamed the earth
Best foods (or not?)Bestfoods - The home of Hellmann's, where the eponymous premium brand mayonnaise is hidden away amidst their online list of over ten hundred thousand top food brands (approx.). Bestfoods once ran a web site called Planet Sandwich which will linger long in the ketchup addled memory of any bread based snack fiend, but which has now sadly departed forever to the dark space at the back of the great (virtual) kitchen cupboard in the sky, behind the jar of congealed piccalilli and the extra strong pickled onions from last Christmas.
Planet Ketchup! - Speaking up for the other great condiment, Planet Ketchup must surely orbit the same sun as the World of Mayonnaise. If only Planet Sandwich hadn't exploded after the incident with the Branston pickle and the Encona red pepper sauce
Ketchup World I - No updates in five years! I guess this guy either died tragically, got terminally bored with condiment themed web sites or who knows, somehow managed to form a meaningful relationship with another human being and realised how sad and desperate his empty life had become
Ketchup World II - Yup, another site with the same name, rather commercial in outlook, although the ketchup of the month club intrigues me. Please dear God, enough with the ketchup already
Brownsauce.net - Dedicated to the spicy brown sauce that's funkier than a sackful of weasels and almost twice as brown
Hot Headz - The hottest, mind blowingly spiciest sauces to be found anywhere on the web, and all from rural Gloucestershire
The Condiment Packet Museum - The only place you'll find an online image of the extremely rare inverse print of the 1976 Hellmann's Mayonnaise two penny blue condiment sachet. If you feel truly inspired join the fun at The Yahoo Condiment Packets Club! Yip yip yarooo!
The Anti Tomato Web Site - The backlash begins HERE!!! Sample dialogue: "Daddy, why do people eat tomatoes?", "Those people are bad son and are evil like the tomato". Nuff said
The Horseradish Information Council - Do they need one? How can anyone get so curious? Yes horseradish sauce, that mulchy stuff you put on beef if the mayonnaise is a bit tame that day
The Empty Bowl - A web site designed to serve the cereal eating community. There's quite a lot of them about apparently and they're doing for cereal what we're doing for mayonnaise
The Anti Onion League - I sincerely hope that the founder of this site is found dead with a large salad onion rammed into every single orifice
NetDonut - Donut eating via the net, for all those lethargic net heads who are either too apathetic or just too plain idle to go through all the tedious motions involved in ingesting solid sustenance
The World of Sandwiches - "Supporting the British Sandwich Association". No, seriously. Did they never stop to ask themselves why?
The Total Sandwich Show - My god, they've booked Kensington Olympia again and filled it with sandwiches! Will the madness ever end?
Kraft Foods - Kraft mayonnaise direct to your doorstep. Or not. Owners of the sacred domain name 'mayo.com', if only I had £10,000 to spare I'd show them what a true mayonnaise web site should be
Kite Wholefoods - Home of the celebrated Welsh organic mayonnaise, with a diverting talent for animated gifs
Heinz UK and Ireland - Bean, ketchup and spaghetti hoop conglomerate with a nice side line in mayonnaise
Haunted Escaped Mayonnaise! - A lamentable waste of atoms for a site which unashamedly lacks substance, motive, content or imagination. Hurrah!
Mayonnaise or Mahonesa? - An authoritative treatise on the historical and linguistic origins of mayonnaise for scholars of such cerebral things
Fish is Meat - An interesting philosophical point, but surely we always know which dressing to use? (Clue: It's not tartare)
De Rit - Our favourite organic Dutch mayonnaise makers display their precious wares
Belgian Fries - Live from Belgium, the spiritual home of chips and mayonnaise, comes a site dedicated to Belgian fries. The secret, you see, is that they fry them twice. Mmmmm, incapacitating
THE OFFICIAL FRENCH FRIES PAGES (OFFP) - Chips in England, fries almost everywhere else, but these artery clogging little blighters always go staggeringly well with a vat or two of mayo. No longer updated but its lard laden legacy will linger on
The Lettuce Preservation Society - Seemingly ubiquitous on the myriad and unimaginative mayonnaise jar serving suggestions, I suppose someone has to stand up for the pallid limp green veg
Delouis Fils - French purveyors of fine and effeminate lavender scented Gallic sauces. Click on the American flag for an version in English, now there's something to make your ginger beard bristle! (Welsh women may know what I mean)
Nude Man Carrot - Pornographic shots of a carrot in a variety of compromising situations, as odd as it sounds, if not a bit more
Innocent Inanimate Objects - Have fun with groceries and guns. Shoot that evil tofu!
2000 Alternate Uses for Peanut Butter - Things to do with peanut butter that are not nutritious or filling, but which may quite legitimately be considered illegal, impractical or immoral
Cheeseburgers in Paradise - Loose utterly the will to live or care in the safety and comfort of your home as phantom cheeseburgers dance for your salacious erotic delight
Bar Code 1 - A must for fans of the zebra striped conveyors of data. They help to adorn the sides of jars, allow them to help adorn your life
Gerald Tyrwhitt-Wilson - (1883–1950) the fourteenth Lord Berners - Celebrate the life of the infamous inventor of blue mayonnaise
Feinste Mayonnaise, leicht bekömmlich - Mayonnaise in a TUBE? From Germany? What will they think of next?
Pork Scratchings - Its a well known fact that Midlanders eat some deep fried pig derived product for ever single meal, and here's the hair encrusted stuff they eat between meals
National Pork Producers Council - Does exactly what it says on the packet. Those cheerful faced pink pig creatures in their muddy sties sure make nice sandwiches
Inconspicuous Consumption - The intricacies of the world of design for all to see, from cereals to saucepans, chocolates to bottle tops, it's all in in here somewhere
The Official Spam Home Page - Think pink, think luncheon meat
Hats of Meat - "One always looks neat, in a hat made from meat!". I certainly wouldn't start an argument with someone sporting a rancid slab of beef on their head, but if the hat is rounded off with a mayonnaise neck tie, one can always look that extra bit dapper and stylish

If you would care to suggest a link for the World of Mayonnaise to investigate, need companionship, crave attention or if you just have too much spare time on your hands, please e-mail us all at links@mayonnaise.co.uk

 

Oh Mayonnaise!



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